Once in a while I’m going to vent under this heading “The Shiz” so be warned…if you don’t want to hear someone bitch and complain about stuff, don’t click on The Shiz to the right. Also be warned…my venting might not make much sense because I’m gonna just lose it here and let it all out like this keyboard is my BFF.
Today I am pissed. I am pissed because I am raising my kids in a era of fear. An era of paranoia and an era of judgement. There are so many avenues this topic goes for me so I will do my best to keep it on a one lane street today. Here goes:
A mother told me not too long ago that I give my kids too long a leash. Fear! She is a mother at the Elementary School where my children go. To me, this statement is absurd. If I wasn’t so concerned about the judgement I would face on the reg, believe me, their leashes would be wrapped around trees, through tunnels and over mountains but I have a plethora of mother’s eyes keeping those reigns in tight. Well, tighter than I would like.
Another mother mentioned to me recently, “I never see you at pick up or drop off anymore”. I told her “I just drop the boys off at the road now…I kick them out of the car as I roll by hahaha”. (They are ages 6 & 8) “If they can’t find the way to their classroom from the street, then we have big problems”. Her response was (kinda sarcastically) “Until you get the call one day that your child didn’t make it to class”. Paranoia!
At a park recently, a mother kept looking over at me whenever Knox (3 years) yelled for help. He was climbing around on the jungle thingie and Cash & Jude were there as well. Every time he hollered, Cash or Jude would naturally run over and help him get unstuck or lift him up to where he wanted to go. This is, in my opinion, how it should roll. I want Cash & Jude to know some responsibility. I want them to watch out for their little bro and if I’m doing everything for Knox, maybe they won’t learn that. Maybe they will but for the sake of allowing me to sit on a bench at the park and read a book let’s just say they won’t. Back to this mom… she asked me if Knox was ok at one point. He was on a balance beam dealio. It was about a foot and a half off the ground and I assured her he would be fine. He fell off. She scurried over to help him and he was all good, not crying and actually a bit confused when he looked up and saw it was she who had grabbed him. I could tell she was disturbed by my lack of effort and I was forced to get up and walk over to him because of …her Judgement.
I love my kids more than anything else in this little life of mine. I am certain I have never ever loved anything more. They are good kids. Without sounding too braggy but to explain that I have not raised them like animals with no rules or manners, they are polite, social, team players and to date have received amazing reviews from their teachers with regards to how they behave in class. I have faith in these boys. I know them well and I trust their instincts in certain areas. I generally know what they are and are not capable of and sometimes they even surprise me with how responsible they can be and with their ability. I am pretty confident most parents feel the same way about their own kids and I trust those parents to make decisions based on what they know and how they feel. All I want is to not be made to feel like a terrible parent because I let my kids walk to the store for some candy on a sunny afternoon. That’s it really. I don’t care in the least if someone wants to walk their child to school in the 12th grade if that’s what they are comfortable with. Just please don’t judge the parent that has their child taking the bus home on their own in the 5th.
That’s it. I’ve vented. I will be back. With more bitching. I promise.
Oh and lastly (and most importantly)… More worry does not equal more love.